Today, I begin a new series on my blog; Random NBA Thoughts, a quick-hitting series of thoughts that will question things about the NBA. Here goes!
-Byron Scott was fired by the Hornets recently. It's a shame, because Scott didn't have the guns to fire with the team operating like a thrift store. The lesson learned; don't win Coach of the Year!
-The Bulls had a win wiped out on replay. Think that Bud Selig was scared stiff by that lol!
-After that game, Chauncey Billups criticized the Bulls' premature celebration, comparing it to an NCAA Sweet 16 celebration. Guess you can't be happy that you (thought that you) won.
-People are wondering if Shaq and LeBron can work in Cleveland. Let's see...in May & June! Calm down, already!
-The Lakers and Celtics have looked very good in their title defense so far, and the Nets have stunk. Ah, the good old days are back.
-Back to LeBron; he recently said he won't talk about his free agency anymore. Thank God for that!
And finally...
-There have been rumblings about LeBron wanting to play with Kobe Bryant in L.A. or Dwayne Wade somewhere (maybe Miami). The chances of that happening are as possible as the Clippers winning the NBA title!
There, that's good for now. See you guys next time for some more Random NBA Thoughts!
Today's Finals review takes us back to the 1987 NBA Finals. It was the last time Larry Bird and Magic Johnson faced off for the NBA crown, and the last Lakers/Celtics Final for 21 years. Who would win and take the "rubber match" of the 1980s?
The Los Angeles Lakers had already cemented their place as one of the NBA's premier teams of the 1980s, winning three NBA titles by 1986. But in the 1986 Western Conference Finals, they were upset by the young Houston Rockets in five games. With Kareem Abdul-Jabbar turning 40 during the season and the Twin Towers of Ralph Sampson and Hakeem Olajuwon looming, could Showtime bounce back in 1987?
The Boston Celtics had a much better time in 1986, winning their 16th NBA title over those Rockets. But their challenge nonetheless was daunting; no NBA team had repeated as champs since 1968-69. Could three-time MVP Larry Bird break the string of bad luck?
The Lakers entered 1986-87 determined to attone for their failures and responded in grand fashion, winning a league-best 65 games. Earvin "Magic" Johnson had his best statistical season, winning his first regular-season MVP with averages of 23.9 PPG (which would be his career high), 6.3 RPG and 12.2 APG (which led the league), while Kareem still posted very healthy numbers of 17.5 PPG and 6.7 RPG. James Worthy also averaged over 19 PPG, and Showtime was as healthy as ever. Healthy wasn't a word you could use for Boston, however; despite winning 59 games to lead the East, the Celtics lost Bill Walton and Scott Wedman for huge portions of the season, forcing K.C. Jones to use four of his five starters (Bird, Kevin McHale, Robert Parish and Dennis Johnson) over 37 minutes per game. Could thw weary champs even make it to attempt a repeat?
The Lakers faced little challenge in reaching the Finals; they swept the Denver Nuggets 3 games to 0 in round 1, smashed the Golden State Warriors 4 games to 1 in round two, then swept the Seattle Supersonics 4 games to zip to advance. Boston faced a much rougher road; after sweeping the Chicago Bulls in 3 in the first round, they went the full seven games against both the Milwaukee Bucks in round 2 and the Detroit Pistons in round 3, the latter seeing Bird save the Celtics' bacon in game 5 by stealing Isiah Thomas' inbound and passing to Johnson for the winning layup. Clearly, L.A. was the favorite to claim the title in this, the third Finals matchup of the decade between the bitter rivals.
Game 1 saw the Lakers' Showtime offense at its best; they scored 35 fastbreak points in the first half. Behind Magic's strong 11-point 1st quarter and Worthy's 15-point 2nd, L.A. rolled out to a 51-30 lead during the first half en route to a 69-54 lead. Boston came within thirteen early in the third, and after L.A. pushed the lead back to 21, the Celtics cut it down to 12 in the fourth before a 11-2 run put the game out of reach, as the Lakers won 123-113. Worthy led the Lakers with 33 points and was one rebound shy of a triple-double, while only Bird (28) had more than 16 points for Boston. Game 2 had a similar feel; this time, L.A. had a 36-2 1st half fast-break points edge, and were led by Defensive Player of the Year Michael Cooper, who had a hand in a 20-point run in the second quarter (he set a Finals record with 8 assists in the period). Cooper also set a Finals record (since passed by Kenny Smith and Scottie Pippen) with six three-point field goals. L.A. led by the score of 75-56 at halftime, and the Celtics got no closer than 15 the rest of the way, eventually losing 141-122. To make matter worse, McHale reinjured his foot. Things looked really bleak for the champions.
Game 3, however, saw the luck of the leprechaun return in the old Boston Garden. After L.A. jumped out to a 29-22 1st quarter lead, the Celtics stormed ahead 60-56 at the half, led by the 2nd quarter scoring of Dennis Johnson (12 points in the period) and Bird (14), plus the unlikely contribution off the boards by reserve Greg Kite (he had 9 boards in 22 minutes of action). All told, three Celtics had over 20 points in this game, and after some late surges by L.A., Boston hung on to win 109-103 to cut the series lead to 2 games to 1, setting up a historic Game 4. The game didn't start out looking like an all-time classic, however; the Celtics led 29-22 after one and led by as many as fifteen in the third. The Celtics had a 8-0 run late in the game to take a 103-95 lead when the Lakers came back with nine straight points to take the lead. Then, a classic sequence occured; Bird, with Worthy hanging off his jersey, drilled a three-pointer to give Boston the lead back. The Lakers then went to Kareem, who was fouled, and he split the free throws before the ball bounced off McHale. Magic took the ball after the timeout, and proceeded to hit his "junior sky-hook" to give L.A. the lead back. After Bird missed a corner jumper, L.A. took a commanding 3-1 series lead.
Game 5 wouldn't see the coronation of a new champion, however; after a close 1st quarter, L.A. had a 9-1 run to take an eight-point lead, but the Celtics closed the half outscoring the Lakers 37-14 run to take a 15-point halftime lead. A hot 3rd quarter by Danny Ainge (14 in the period including 4 three-pointers) and a equally hot 4th by Dennis Johnson allowed Boston to stave off defeat with a 123-108 win. But back at the "Fabulous" Forum for Game 6, there would be no reprieve. Though the Celtics led by seven after one quarter and five at the half, their worn-out bodies couldn't keep up with the Lakers, who outscored them 18-2 to take a 69-58 lead. Parish collected his fifth foul in the 4th as he was no match for Jabbar (who led the Lakers with 32 points), and the Celtics would threaten no more, as the Lakers wrapped the title with a 106-93 win. Magic won his third Finals MVP, and the Lakers had won the "rubber match" with their most hated rival.
1987 NBA Finals Leaders: Points Per Game
L.A. Lakers: E. Johnson, 26.2 PPG; Abdul-Jabbar, 21.7 PPG; Worthy, 20.7 PPG
Boston: Bird, 24.2 PPG; D. Johnson, 21.0 PPG; McHale, 20.5 PPG
1987 NBA Finals Leaders: Rebounds Per Game
L.A. Lakers: E. Johnson, 8.0 RPG; Abdul-Jabbar, 7.3 RPG; Worthy, 5.3 RPG
Boston: Bird, 10.0 RPG; McHale, 9.0 RPG; Parish, 6.5 RPG
1987 NBA Finals Leaders: Assists Per Game
L.A. Lakers: E. Johnson, 13.0 APG; Cooper, 4.7 APG; Worthy, 4.0 APG
Boston: D. Johnson, 9.3 APG; Bird, 5.5 APG; Ainge, 5.0 APG
Today's profile highlights one of the NBA's greatest leapers...and one of its best all-around players. He was a ten-time NBA All-Star, was selected to the All-NBA 1st Team in 1992, and played a key role on three NBA Finals-bound teams with the Portland Trail Blazers and the Houston Rockets. Here's Clyde "the Glide" Drexler!
Clyde Drexler was born June 22, 1962 in New Orleans, Louisiana. He went to Ross Sterling High School in Houston, Texas, then stayed home to attend the University of Houston. Teaming with Hakeem Olajuwon, Michael Young and Larry Micheaux, the Cougars became known as "Phi Slamma Jamma". Drexler helped the Cougars reach two Final Fours and the 1983 NCAA championship final before graduating, averaging 14.4 PPG and 9.9 RPG during his college career. Drexler was eventually selected 14th overall in the 1983 NBA Draft by the Portland Trail Blazers, behind such busts as Russell Cross and Ennis Whatley.
Drexler came to Portland at a time when Jim Paxson was established as the team's starting shooting guard, but he still put up respectable numbers of 7.7 PPG and 2.9 RPG as a rookie. Drexler became a part-time starter at small forward in his second year and saw his averages jump to 17.2 PPG and 6 RPG. By 1985-86, Drexler became an All-Star for the first time, averaging 18.6 PPG and 5.6 RPG and a solid 8 APG. By this point, he had supplanted Paxson as the team's best player.
In 1986-87, Drexler joined Magic Johnson and Larry Bird as the only players to average better than 21 PPG (21.7 PPG), 6 rebounds (6.3 RPG) and 6 assists (6.9 APG) that season. The next year, Drexler finished fifth in leagueMVP voting, leading the Blazers to 53 wins. But despite Drexler's brilliance, the Blazers won only one playoff series between 1984 and 1989. But the nucleus of Drexler, Terry Porter, Jerome Kersey and Kevin Duckworth began to emerge when Rick Adelman became coach and Buck Williams was acquired in a trade with the New Jersey Nets.
By 1989-90, the Blazers emerged as a great team, and Drexler was the leader. Averaging 23.3 PPG and 6.9 RPG, Drexler led the Blazers to their first NBA Finals since 1977, losing to the Detroit Pistons in five games. The Blazers would win the Pacific Division title each year from 1990 to 1992, and Drexler's 1991-92 season was his personal best, as he finished the runner-up to Michael Jordan for league MVP and made his sixth All-Star team (the other years were 1986, 1988-91, 1993-94 and 1996-97, missing the 1997 game with an injury). He also became the second Portland player ever to make the All-NBA 1st Team, and though the Blazers lost to Jordan's Bulls in six games in the Finals, Drexler would join Jordan in winning an Olympic gold medal as part of the famed "Dream Team" in the 1992 Olympics.
But the Blazers and Drexler fell off over the next season and a half, and by the 1994-95 trade deadline, Drexler wanted to be traded. Portland obliged, trading Drexler to the Houston Rockets for Otis Thorpe. Drexler was now re-teamed with college teammate Hakeem Olajuwon, but as the Rockets struggled to a 47-35 finish and the sixth seed, they didn't seem like a legit threat to win an NBA title. But the Rockets shocked everyone by winning the title in a four-game sweep of the Orlando Magic. Drexler averaged 20.5 PPG, 7 RPG and 5 APG (which increased to 21.5 PPG, 9.5 RPG and 6.8 APG in the Finals sweep). Drexler finally had an NBA title in his adopted hometown.
Drexler enjoyed three more productive seasons with the Rockets before retiring after the 1997-98 season to become a coach of his alma mater in Houston. He retired having scored 22,195 points (20.4 PPG), along with 6,677 rebounds (6.1 RPG) and 6,125 assists (5.6 APG). He was selected as one of the 50 Greatest Players in NBA History in 1996, and was elected to the Basketball Hall of Fame in 2004.
Season-by-Season Statistical Review:
1983-84: 82 GP, 3 GS, 7.7 PPG, 2.9 RPG, 1.9 APG, 45.1 FG%, 72.8 FT%, 25.0 3P%
1984-85: 80 GP, 43 GS, 17.2 PPG, 6.0 RPG, 5.5 APG, 49.4 FG%, 75.9 FT%, 21.6 3P%
1985-86: 75 GP, 58 GS, 18.5 PPG, 5.6 RPG, 8.0 APG, 47.5 FG%, 76.9 FT%, 20.0 3P%
1986-87: 82 GP, 82 GS, 21.7 PPG, 6.3 RPG, 6.9 APG, 50.2 FG%, 76.0 FT%, 23.4 3P%
1987-88: 81 GP, 80 GS, 27.0 PPG, 6.6 RPG, 5.8 APG, 50.6 FG%, 81.1 FT%, 21.2 3P%
1988-89: 78 GP, 78 GS, 27.2 PPG, 7.9 RPG, 5.8 APG, 49.6 FG%, 79.9 FT%, 26.0 3P%
1989-90: 73 GP, 73 GS, 23.3 PPG, 6.9 RPG, 5.9 APG, 49.4 FG%, 77.4 FT%, 28.3 3P%
1990-91: 82 GP, 82 GS, 21.5 PPG, 6.7 RPG, 6.0 APG, 48.2 FG%, 79.4 FT%, 31.9 3P%
1991-92: 76 GP, 76 GS, 25.0 PPG, 6.6 RPG, 6.7 APG, 47.0 FG%, 79.4 FT%, 33.7 3P%
1992-93: 49 GP, 49 GS, 19.9 PPG, 6.3 RPG, 5.7 APG, 42.9 FG%, 83.9 FT%, 23.3 3P%
1993-94: 68 GP, 68 GS, 19.2 PPG, 6.5 RPG, 4.9 APG, 42.8 FG%, 77.7 FT%, 32.4 3P%
1994-95: 76 GP, 75 GS, 21.8 PPG, 6.3 RPG, 4.8 APG, 46.1 FG%, 82.4 FT%, 36.0 3P%
1995-96: 52 GP, 51 GS, 19.3 PPG, 7.2 RPG, 5.8 APG, 43.3 FG%, 78.4 FT%, 33.2 3P%
1996-97: 62 GP, 62 GS, 18.0 PPG, 6.0 RPG, 5.7 APG, 44.2 FG%, 75.0 FT%, 35.5 3P%
1997-98: 70 GP, 70 GS, 18.4 PPG, 4.9 RPG, 5.5 APG, 42.7 FG%, 80.1 FT%, 31.7 3P%
I know it's been a long while since I posted a profile here, so let me explain. The 2009 playoff bracket got screwed up when I tried editing it on my computer, so I'll have to go to a faster connection to do that bracket. And I thought it was unfair to the people who actually like this page to go on without a full playoff bracket. But today, the profiles are back with a profile of the all-time great power forward of the Washington Bullets and Houston Rockets, Elvin Hayes.
Elvin Hayes was born November 17, 1945 in Rayville, Louisiana. Hayes initially wasn't spectacular at basketball in high school, but eventually he developed into an elite talent in leading Britton High School to a state championship in 1964, averaging 35 PPg during his senior year. He then moved on to the University of Houston, where he and Don Chaney were the school's first ever black basketball players. Hayes averaged 31 PPG and 17.2 RPG over his college career, and led the Cougars to three NCAA tournament appearences and two Final Fours, and he was a central figure in the first-ever nationally televised college basketball game, scoring 39 points and grabbing 15 rebounds in leading Houston to a 71-69 win over UCLA and Lew Alcindor (Kareem Abdul-Jabbar) to end the Bruins' 47-game winning streak. After graduating, Hayes was chosen first overall in the 1968 NBA Draft by the San Diego Rockets, and he chose to sign with them instead of the ABA's Houston Mavericks.
Hayes made an immediate impact on the second-year Rockets; Hayes helped San Diego win 22 more games than in their expansion debut, and the 37-45 record was good enough to make the playoffs for the first time. Hayes led the league in scoring (28.4 PPG, 2,327 points), the first rookie to do so since Wilt Chamberlain in 1960, and was fourth in rebounds. Things looked bright for the young team, but the Rockets never returned to the playoffs with Hayes, even as he continued to fill the stat sheet. In 1969-70, Hayes led the NBA in rebounds, and in 1970-71, he averaged 28.7 PPG (a career best) and 16.6 RPG. But the Rockets struggled at the box office, and even a move to Houston in 1971 did little to help. After the 1971-72 season, a disgruntled Hayes was traded to the Baltimore Bullets for Jack Marin and future considerations.
The trade worked brilliantly, as Hayes moved from center to power forward alongside future Hall of Fame center Wes Unseld. Hayes helped the Bullets win the Central Division title in his first season with the team, averaging 21.2 PPG and 14.5 RPG. The following season, after the Bullets moved to Washington D.C. and became the Capital Bullets (they were renamed the season after to the Washington Bullets), Hayes led the NBA in rebounds for the second time with 18.1 RPG (the average is the third highest in the years since Wilt Chamberlain retired in 1973), leading the Bullets to another division title.
In 1974-75, Hayes helped the Bullets reach their second NBA Finals in team history, averaging 25.5 PPG in the postseason, but the Bullets were swept by the Golden State Warriors in a major upset. Hayes continued to play well the next two seasons, but the Bullets never got past the second round of the playoffs. Finally, in 1977-78, the Bullets broke through, beating the Seattle Supersonics for the NBA title. Hayes averaged 21.8 PPG during those playoffs, and after ten seasons of frustration, he finally had an NBA title.
Though Hayes and the Bullets never repeated as champions (losing the 1979 Finals in a rematch to Seattle), Hayes played well in his final three seasons in Washington; at age 35 in 1980-81, he led the Bullets in scoring (17.8 PPG), rebounding (9.7 RPG), and blocks (171 blocks). After that season, Hayes finished his career where it started, as the Bullets traded him to the Rockets for two second-round draft picks. Hayes played his final three seasons with Houston before retiring after the 1983-84 season. He finished with 27,313 points (21.0 PPG; seventh all-time entering the 2009-10 season) and 16,279 rebounds (12.5 RPG; fourth all-time). He was elected to the Basketball Hall of Fame in 1989, and in 1996, he was selected as one of the 50 Greatest Players in NBA History.
Season-by-Season Statistical Review:
1968-69: 82 GP, 28.4 PPG, 17.1 RPG, 1.4 APG, 44.7 FG%, 62.6 FT%
1969-70: 82 GP, 27.5 PPG, 16.9 RPG, 2.0 APG, 45.2 FG%, 68.8 FT%
1970-71: 82 GP, 28.7 PPG, 16.6 RPG, 2.3 APG, 42.8 FG%, 67.2 FT%
1971-72: 82 GP, 25.2 PPG, 14.6 RPG, 3.3 APG, 43.4 FG%, 64.9 FT%
1972-73: 81 GP, 21.2 PPG, 14.5 RPG, 1.6 APG, 44.4 FG%, 67.1 FT%
1973-74: 81 GP, 21.4 PPG, 18.1 RPG, 2.0 APG, 42.3 FG%, 72.1 FT%
1974-75: 82 GP, 23.0 PPG, 12.2 RPG, 2.5 APG, 44.3 FG%, 76.6 FT%
1975-76: 80 GP, 19.8 PPG, 11.0 RPG, 1.5 APG, 47.0 FG%, 62.8 FT%
1976-77: 82 GP, 23.7 PPG, 12.5 RPG, 1.9 APG, 50.1 FG%, 68.7 FT%
1977-78: 81 GP, 19.7 PPG, 13.3 RPG, 1.8 APG, 45.1 FG%, 63.4 FT%
1978-79: 82 GP, 21.8 PPG, 12.1 RPG, 1.7 APG, 48.7 FG%, 65.4 FT%
1979-80: 81 GP, 23.0 PPG, 11.1 RPG, 1.6 APG, 45.4 FG%, 69.9 FT%
1980-81: 81 GP, 17.8 PPG, 9.7 RPG, 1.2 APG, 45.1 FG%, 61.7 FT%
1981-82: 82 GP, 82 GS, 16.1 PPG, 9.1 RPG, 1.8 APG, 47.2 FG%, 66.4 FT%
1982-83: 81 GP, 43 GS, 12.9 PPG, 7.6 RPG, 2.0 APG, 47.6 FG%, 68.3 FT%
1983-84: 81 GP, 4 GS, 5.0 PPG, 3.2 RPG, 0.9 APG, 40.6 FG%, 65.2 FT%
Here is a post from my Fox blog page. It's a comedy where I have some fun and poke the NBA. It's a "Survivor" parody. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: The following post is purely a parody. If the NBA or anybody feels offended, it's pure fun; no infringement is intended. All names and property belong to their owners. Now, yet the games begin!
The Beginnings of the Story
Sitting in his office in New York, NBA commissioner David Stern was discontented. The NBA Finals had been, in his opinion, a complete disaster, and now it was the offseason. Determined to become the dictator of the world, Stern decided to make the NBA relevant in the off-season. He bought the rights to the show "Survivor" and decided to stock a new season of it with NBA players, past and present. The result is "NBA Survivor" sponsored by Kia Motors! Let's head to the field!
(The host, named David Downs, walks in)
Downs: It's time for NBA Survivor!
(jingle): "sponsored by Kia Motors!"
Downs: Now then, let's meet the teams! First, it's the NBA Stars of Today team.
NBA Stars of TodayKobe Bryant
LeBron James
Shaquille O'Neal
Dwight Howard
Dwayne Wade
Carmelo Anthony
Allen Iverson
Chauncey Billups
Tim Duncan
Kevin Garnett
Paul Pierce
Yao Ming
Tracy McGrady
Manu Ginobili
Gilbert Arenas
Downs: And now, the NBA Stars of Yesterday team!
NBA Stars of YesterdayMichael Jordan
Magic Johnson
Larry Bird
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Bill Russell
Wilt Chamberlain
Julius Erving
Isiah Thomas
Charles Barkley
Elgin Baylor
Moses Malone
Oscar Robertson
Jerry West
Scottie Pippen
Willis Reed
Downs: You've now met the teams, so let's begin our game. At the end of today, one of these 30 players will be gone. The teams will compete as a unit until we whittle down the competition. You guys ready?
LeBron: I was born ready.
Kobe: You arrogant piece of...
LeBron: Look who's talking!
Downs: O.K., guys; you sound like those damn annoying puppets!
(jingle): sponsored by Nike!Downs: Oh boy; this will be hell. Let's begin with out first challenge. It's a good old-fashioned game of HORSE.
(jingle): sponsored by Geico!Downs: You guys know how to play. Pick two members from each team.
(The Stars of Yesterday choose Magic and Bird, saving Jordan for a later challenge. The Stars of Today choose Kobe and LeBron.)
Downs: We flipped a coin...
(jingle): Sponsored by the U.S. Mint!Downs: ...and the Stars of Today won, so they get the first shot of the day.
(jingle): sponsored by Budweiser!
Kobe: O.K., Bron. I got the first shot!
LeBron: Oh, no you don't; I've got it!
Kobe: Me!
LeBron: ME!!!
(the two begin to fight each other, the ball slips out of their hands at mid-court, takes two bounces, and goes in the hoop. All the participants are stunned.)
Downs: All right, Magic and Larry, you gotta do it.
(Magic and Bird tussle, but the ball takes three bounces, giving LeBron and Kobe the lead.)
Downs: Back to LeBron and Kobe for the second shot.
(jingle): Sponsored by Red Bull!
Kobe: Just give me the damn ball.
LeBron: I'm the chosen one!
(they resume fighting, and run out of time)
Downs: Sorry, guys. You forfeit one letter. It's a tied game.
(to add insult to insult, Joey Crawford calls a technical just out of habit!)
Downs: Magic and Bird, you're up.
(Magic does a behind-the-back dribble before pulling up 3/4 court and hitting a three. LeBron rips the ball out of Kobe's hand, does the same thing...and it air-balls)
Kobe: Dammit, Bron; I just won a title! Stop fooling around!
LeBron: You are the fool!
(Magic and Bird eventually win the game after LeBron and Kobe refuse to allow the other the shoot. They forfeit the remaining three letters.)
Downs: Chalk one up for the Legends team. Magic and Larry win immunity for today as their prize.
(jingle): Sponsored by Vagisil!Downs: Let's move on to our next challenge. It's a game where whoever grabs the most coconuts wins.
(jingle): Sponsored by Mounds and Almond Joy!Downs: Pick your teams, people!
(The Legends select Chamberlain and Jabbar. Curiously, the Stars of the Today choose only Dwight Howard.)
Downs: Today's Team, why did you choose only one player?
Team: Because we have a secret!
Downs: O.K. Gentleman, let's get started.
(jingle): Sponsored by Minute Maid Orange Juice!Downs: Go!
(Chamberlain and Jabbar barely get started when Howard rips off his Magic jersey to reveal...he's actually Superman! He leaps up to the top of the tree and plucks off all of the coconuts, winning the game.)
Downs: Wow! Dwight Howard is the winner and gets immunity!
(jingle): Sponsored by Bayer!Downs: Well then, get some rest, and we'll be back after a word from our many sponsors!
(The ads are, in order, promos for Wipeout, I Survived a Japanese Game Show, The Closer, and 50 thousand ads for cars, beer and impotence. After all of that, Downs returns)
Downs: It's time for the team challenge!
(jingle): Sponsored by the Army!Downs: Pick five members of the team to play this game.
(The Legends choose Jordan, Barkley, West, Thomas and Russell. Today's team choose Wade, Shaq, Arenas, Garnett and Iverson.)
Downs: O.K. Start the obstacle course!
(jingle): Sponsored by Ikea!Downs: Start!
(Iverson and Thomas begin the game by climbing through the cave. Iverson takes a big lead before getting startled when Thomas says he's quitting Florida International to join Iverson’s new team to trade him. They're even when they tag off to West and Arenas.)
Arenas: Hey, Jerry. Still think LeBron’s the best player in the lea…
(Arenas, en route to going up the hill, tears up his knee. Thomas is forced to carry Arenas to the next station, where they trail by a bunch. Fortunately for Today’s Team, Barkley is waddling through the third leg, allowing Garnett to catch up.)
Garnett: Anything is possibleeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
Barkley: That’s just turible!
(Barkley and Garnett are even when they pass the wooden bridge and tag off to Russell and Shaq.)
Russell: Oh, Shaq’s nothing! I stopped Wilt; I can stop him!
Shaq: That would be Shaq-tastic for you, but I’m the real Superman!
(Russell and Shaq approach the treadmill. While Russell makes it up with ease, Shaq simply bulls it over, saying “I don’t ever use treadmills!”. After that, they reach the b-ball court, where each has to dunk, then hand off to Jordan and Wade.)
Wade (stares at Jordan): My idol!
Jordan: That stuff doesn’t work on me!
(The final obstacle is a doozy; each goes to the court, where big Manute Bol lies. They must hit a jumper over him, without driving by him. Wade gets there first, but his shot gets easily swatted away.)
Bol: You…cant…do…tat!
(Bol smiles, but it’s quickly obliterated when Jordan, using his powers from Space Jam, turns into Stretch Armstrong, stretching his arms over Bol, and throwing the ball in. Jordan easily crosses the finish line.)
Downs: The Legends win the game! The entire team is safe for the next episode! Today’s team, one of you will go.
(jingle): Sponsored by Avis!
Downs: Today’s Team, we’ll see you at tribal council tonight!
(Today’s team, except for Howard, who has immunity, slumps off to their cabins. The Legends go back as well, except for Jordan and Barkley, who decide to go to the golf course to gamble on who can lose the worst.)
(Night falls on the camp)
Downs: Alright, teams. Let’s get to the council square.
(jingle): Sponsored by Wheat Thins!
Downs: Today’s Team will vote on who they want to get rid of, and that person must leave. Only Dwight Howard is immune from elimination today. The Legends will also vote, and their majority winner will receive one vote. Let’s get started!
(jingle): Sponsored by the Black-Eyed Peas!
(The Legends vote. It comes out eight for Kobe, seven for LeBron, and one that’s not legible because there’s a giant ketchup stain.)
Downs: Who had ketchup on their ballot?
(jingle): Sponsored by Heinz!
Barkley: Sorry, guys. I had to have 15 hamburgers before I voted!
Downs: Anyway, Kobe gets one cumulative vote. Today’s Team, now you vote.
(The team votes.)
Downs: Here are the results!
(jingle): Sponsored by George W. Bush!
Downs: The results are 14 votes for Arenas (shown in a cast), and one for LeBron.
(LeBron stares at the team, screaming “I need help, guys!”. Kobe smirks privately; he cast the vote against LeBron. Arenas tried to walk away in his cast, but falls over, breaking his ankle and ribs. He yells back “I’m used to not playing and getting paid!”.)
Downs: All right campers, that’s it for Opening Night!
(jingle): Sponsored by Hyundai!
Downs: See you viewers next time for more NBA Survivor!
(jingle): Sponsored by Kia Motors!
Note: I know Chamberlain isn't alive. This is a parody, so pretend that these guys are all in their prime!
After a lengthy absence, the profiles are back! And this week, we pay homage to the NBA Finals with posts devoted to great Lakers and Magic players. Today's profilee was one of the greatest NBA players of the 1960s and early 1970s, winning a scoring title, making twelve All-Star teams, and helping L.A. win the 1972 NBA title. He is Jerry West.
Jerry West was born May 28, 1938 in Cheylan, West Virginia. The young West lived in poverty, but he developed a passion for basketball, and starred for East Bank High School, making the All-State team from 1953-56 and was named the state player of the year and an All-American in 1956. After graduating, West chose to attend West Virginia University and put the school on the basketball map, leading the team to the NCAA finals in 1959, earning two Southern Conference player of the year awards and two All-America honors. After leading the United States to a gold medal (co-captaining the team with Oscar Robertson) in the 1960 Rome Olympics, West was drafted second overall behind Robertson by the Lakers, shortly before the franchise moved from Minneapolis to Los Angeles.
As a rookie, West was solid after Fred Schaus (his coach at West Virginia) moved him from forward to guard, averaging 17.6 PPG and 7.7 RPG as the Lakers made the playoffs. Soon after, he and Elgin Baylor became one of the league's most dominant scoring duos; both averaged 30+ PPG in 1961-62 (West's second year) and would average over 24 PPG in ten of twelve full seasons together. In 1961-62, they made the first of six NBA Finals in the decade, but the Lakers lost to the Boston Celtics in seven games, starting a trend that would continue throughout the decade.
Despite coming up short against Boston, West remained brilliant for the team throughout the 1960s. West averaged over 25.9 PPG each year from 1961-62 to 1970-71, and earned the first of 13 selections to the All-Star team as a rookie in 1961 (he played in 12 games from 1961-73, missing the 1969 game, and was game MVP in 1972). West's best stats year came in 1969-70, when he won his only scoring title (the first year it was awarded on per game average) with 31.2 PPG, along with 4.6 RPG and 7.5 APG. Despite his individual success, the Lakers lost five NBA Finals in the 60s, all to the Celtics, though West was outstanding in their last matchup in 1969, scoring 42 points, grabbing 13 rebounds, and dishing out 12 assists in the Lakers' game seven matchup, becoming the only player in NBA history to claim Finals MVP without winning the title (in fact, West was the first-ever Finals MVP). After the Lakers lost to the New York Knicks in the 1970 Finals, many felt the Lakers' best days were over.
In 1971-72, however, the Lakers united under new coach Bill Sharman, and even with Baylor retiring early in the season, they roared, winning a then-record 69 games, as West finished seventh in scoring (25.8 PPG) and led the league in assists (9.7 APG), as L.A. finally got the brass ring that year, beating the Knicks in five games for their first L.A. title (and first for the team since 1954). With the burden lifted from his shoulders, West played two more seasons, making another Finals appearence, before retiring in 1974. West then briefly coached the team from 1976-79 before jumping into the front office, building the Showtime Lakers into a power in the 1980s, winning five NBA titles. West also built the early 2000s Lakers of Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant that won three straight titles from 2000-02 before joining the Memphis Grizzlies, where from 2002-07, West built the team into a playoff team, making three postseasons on a team that hadn't made any prior to his arrival. He retired from that capacity in 2007. For his playing career, he scored 25,192 points (27.0 PPG career; 14th all-time after the 2008-09 season) and had 5.376 rebounds (5.8 RPG), was selected as one of the 50 Greatest Players in NBA History in 1996, and was elected to the Basketball Hall of Fame in 1979.
Season-by-Season Statistical Review:
1960-61: 79 GP, 17.6 PPG, 7.7 RPG, 4.2 APG, 41.9 FG%, 66.6 FT%
1961-62: 75 GP, 30.8 PPG, 7.9 RPG, 5.4 APG, 44.5 FG%, 76.9 FT%
1962-63: 55 GP, 27.1 PPG, 7.0 RPG, 5.6 APG, 46.1 FG%, 77.8 FT%
1963-64: 72 GP, 28.7 PPG, 6.2 RPG, 5.6 APG, 48.4 FG%, 83.2 FT%
1964-65: 74 GP, 31.0 PPG, 6.0 RPG, 4.9 APG, 49.7 FG%, 82.1 FT%
1965-66: 79 GP, 31.3 PPG, 7.1 RPG, 6.1 APG, 47.3 FG%, 86.0 FT%
1966-67: 66 GP, 28.7 PPG, 5.9 RPG, 6.8 APG, 46.4 FG%, 87.8 FT%
1967-68: 51 GP, 26.3 PPG, 5.8 RPG, 6.1 APG, 51.4 FG%, 81.1 FT%
1968-69: 61 GP, 25.9 PPG, 4.3 RPG, 6.9 APG, 47.1 FG%, 82.1 FT%
1969-70: 74 GP, 31.2 PPG, 4.6 RPG, 7.5 APG, 49.7 FG%, 82.4 FT%
1970-71: 69 GP, 26.9 PPG, 4.6 RPG, 9.5 APG, 49.4 FG%, 83.2 FT%
1971-72: 77 GP, 25.8 PPG, 4.2 RPG, 9.7 APG, 47.7 FG%, 81.4 FT%
1972-73: 69 GP, 22.8 PPG, 4.2 RPG, 8.8 APG, 47.9 FG%, 80.5 FT%
1973-74: 31 GP, 20.3 PPG, 3.7 RPG, 6.6 APG, 44.7 FG%, 83.3 FT%
I went to take the eye test, but I am really blinded and am unable to write my post today (my dad is writing this in my stead). So, I WILL get the profile in tomorrow. I'm so sorry about this!
I said on May 22nd that there would be a new profile here soon. Well, shortly after I said that, my modem crashed and broke, and today I just got and installed my new one. I'm sorry to regular Zone readers for that, but sometime tomorrow (after my eye test) I'll post my latest profile. Please stay tuned!
Today's profilee came a long way to make his name in the NBA. From his beginnings as a soccer player in Nigeria to winning a regular season and two Finals MVPs, his grace defined the Houston Rockets of the mid-90s. He is Hakeem Olajuwon.
Hakeem Olajuwon was born January 21, 1963 in Lagos, Nigeria. In his youth, Olajuwon was a soccer goalkeeper and handball player, games that he credits with giving him the agility and footwork to become a great NBA center. He was introduced to basketball at age 15, and immediately, he knew this was the game he wanted to play. Olajuwon soon emigrated to the University of Houston, where, after redshirting and playing sparingly as a freshman, he worked out with then-Houston Rocket center Moses Malone. His game grew immensely, and as a sophmore and junior, Olajuwon led the Cougars to two straight NCAA title games. Despite losing both games (including a heartbreaker to North Carolin State on a last-second dunk in 1983), Olajuwon was named tournament MVP in 1983, the first losing player so honored. After the 1984 season, Olajuwon declared for the NBA Draft, believing that the Rockets would select #1 overall and select him. He was correct, and he joined the Rockets (over such notables as Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley and John Stockton).
Olajuwon joined a team that already had seven foot four center Ralph Sampson, which created a "Twin Towers" alignment that few had ever seen in the NBA. He helped the team return to the playoffs after a two-year layoff, improving the team's record from 29-53 in 1983-84 to 48-34 in 1984-85, as Olajwuon averaged 20.6 PPG and 11.9 RPG, finishing as the runner-up to Michael Jordan in the Rookie of the Year voting. His second year was even better, as the Rockets advanced to the NBA Finals for the second time ever. Olajuwon averaged 26.9 PPG and 11.8 RPG in the playoffs, and the future seemed bright for the Rockets.
But Sampson eventually was felled with injuries, and was traded to the Golden State Warriors in 1987-88. Olajuwon was the team's undisputed leader, but the Rockets were stuck in neutral; despite Olajuwon leading the NBA in rebounds in both 1989 and 1990, getting a quadruple-double in a game in 1990, and becoming the first player since blocks became a stat in 1973-74 to average 14 RPG and 4.5 BPG (in 1989-90), the Rockets won only one playoff series between 1987 and 1992. But after Rudy Tomjanovich replaced Don Chaney as coach in 1992, the Rockets became a championship contender.
In 1993, Olajuwon led the Rockets to a division title and a second-round series appearance. The following year, the Rockets finally broke through, beating the New York Knicks for their first ever NBA title. Olajwuon became the first foreign-born player to win the regular season MVP, and the first ever to win that award, Finals MVP and Defensive Player of the Year awards in the same season. The following year, they made a miracle run as the sixth seed to a repeat championship, the lowest seeded team ever to win an NBA title. Olajwuon averaged 33 PPG and 10.3 RPG, repeating as Finals MVP. This was Olajuwon's professional peak, the time when he was considered among the best, if not the best, center in the game.
Olajwuon remained a solid player for Houston through the late 1990s (he made the last of his twelve All-Star Games in 1997; the others were 1985-1990 and 1992-96) before departing after the 2000-01 season. He played one more season with the Toronto Raptors before retiring in 2002. He finished with 26,946 points (21.8 PPG career; eight all-time) and 13,748 rebounds (11.1 RPG; 11th all-time) and is the all-time leader in blocks (3,830; 3.1 per game average) and was named as one of the 50 Greatest Players in NBA History in 1996 and was elected to the Basketball Hall of Fame in 2008.
Season-by-Season Statistical Review:
1984-85: 82 GP, 82 GS, 20.6 PPG, 11.9 RPG, 1.4 APG, 53.8 FG%, 61.3 FT%
1985-86: 68 GP, 68 GS, 23.5 PPG, 11.5 RPG, 2.0 APG, 52.6 FG%, 64.5 FT%
1986-87: 75 GP, 75 GS, 23.4 PPG, 11.4 RPG, 2.9 APG, 50.8 FG%, 70.2 FT%
1987-88: 79 GP, 79 GS, 22.8 PPG, 12.1 RPG, 2.1 APG, 51.4 FG%, 69.5 FT%
1988-89: 82 GP, 82 GS, 24.8 PPG, 13.5 RPG, 1.8 APG, 50.8 FG%, 69.6 FT%
1989-90: 82 GP, 82 GS, 24.3 PPG, 14.0 RPG, 2.9 APG, 50.1 FG%, 71.3 FT%
1990-91: 56 GP, 50 GS, 21.2 PPG, 13.8 RPG, 2.3 APG, 50.8 FG%, 76.9 FT%
1991-92: 70 GP, 69 GS, 21.6 PPG, 12.1 RPG, 2.2 APG, 50.2 FG%, 76.6 FT%
1992-93: 82 GP, 82 GS, 26.1 PPG, 13.0 RPG, 3.5 APG, 52.9 FG%, 77.9 FT%
1993-94: 80 GP, 80 GS, 27.3 PPG, 11.9 RPG, 3.6 APG, 52.8 FG%, 71.6 FT%
1994-95: 72 GP, 72 GS, 27.8 PPG, 10.8 RPG, 3.5 APG, 51.7 FG%, 75.6 FT%
1995-96: 72 GP, 72 GS, 26.9 PPG, 10.9 RPG, 3.6 APG, 51.4 FG%, 72.4 FT%
1996-97: 78 GP, 78 GS, 23.2 PPG, 9.2 RPG, 3.0 APG, 51.0 FG%, 78.7 FT%
1997-98: 47 GP, 45 GS, 16.4 PPG, 9.8 RPG, 3.0 APG, 48.3 FG%, 75.5 FT%
1998-99: 50 GP, 50 GS, 18.9 PPG, 9.6 RPG, 1.8 APG, 51.4 FG%, 71.7 FT%
1999-2000: 44 GP, 28 GS, 10.3 PPG, 6.2 RPG, 1.4 APG, 45.8 FG%, 61.6 FT%
2000-01: 58 GP, 55 GS, 11.9 PPG, 7.4 RPG, 1.2 APG, 49.8 FG%, 62.1 FT%
2001-02: 61 GP, 37 GS, 7.1 PPG, 6.0 RPG, 1.1 APG, 46.4 FG%, 56.0 FT%
In the NBA, as in other sports, some players can have tremendous potential as players, but never quite live up to those expectations. Today's profilee was the first NBA draft pick direct from high school in 1975 (following Moses Malone going to the ABA), and while he had his moments with the Philadelphia 76ers and New Jersey Nets, his reputation exceeded his stats. He is "Chocolate Thunder" Darryl Dawkins
Darryl Dawkins was born January 11, 1957 in Orlando, Florida. At Maynard Evans High School, Dawkins led his team to the Florida state championship as a senior and was dubbed as "probably the best high school player ever and one of the best people I've ever met" by his coach, Fred Pennington. Ironically, Dawkins won his state title the same year as Moses Malone became the first ever player to skip college entirely for the pros by signing with the American Basketball Association's Utah Stars. Following in Malone's footsteps, Dawkins declared for the 1975 NBA Draft as a hardship case. The Philadelphia 76ers selected Dawkins fifth overall in that draft.
Realizing that Dawkins needed time to develop, the Sixers didn't play him much as a rookie; he only played in 37 games, averaging 2.4 PPG and 1.3 RPG in under five minutes of action per game. By year two, Dawkins began to emerge as a solid reserve, averaging 5.3 PPG and 3.9 RPG as the Sixers reached the NBA Finals. Despite losing to the Portland Trail Blazers in six games, Dawkins was more than respectable in the stats column, raising his averages to 7.3 PPG and 5.4 RPG. But during the 1977-78 season, new coach Billy Cunningham gave Dawkins an expanded role, and he responded well, with 11.7 PPG and 7.9 RPG, playing over 25 minutes per game and helping Philadelphia reach the conference finals.
Dawkins' big break occured the following year, when George McGinnis was traded to the Denver Nuggets. Now a starter, Dawkins had the best two-year stretch of his career. In 1978-79, he averaged 13.1 PPG and 8.1 RPG, and the following year, he had his best pro season, with averages of 14.7 PPG and 8.7 RPG, helping the Sixers return to the NBA Finals. In the process, Dawkins forever etched his persona into the league with two rim-shattering dunks during the season. In November 1979, he completely shattered the glass backboard in a game against the Kansas City Kings, and then three weeks later, he tore the rim off the backboard against the San Antonio Spurs, turning him into a cult hero (the league shortly thereafter instituted a rule saying that anyone who breaks the backboard would get fined and suspended). "Chocolate Thunder" had arrived, but almost as quickly, he left.
After another productive season in 1980-81 (14 PPG and 7.2 RPG), Dawkins missed 34 games the following year, and though the Sixers reached the Finals for a third time, their repeated failures against the Los Angeles Lakers forced Sixer management to rethink their center position. In further irony, the man they chose to pursue was the man Dawkins followed into the NBA, Moses Malone. The Sixers traded Dawkins to the New Jersey Nets for a first-round pick before acquiring Malone from the Houston Rockets for Caldwell Jones and another first-round pick. While Malone led the Sixers to an NBA title, Dawkins had a respectable first season in New Jersey. with averages of 12 PPG and 5.3 RPG in helping the Nets reach the playoffs.
In 1983-84, Dawkins had his highest scoring season ever, with a 16.8 PPG average, despite setting a league record with 386 personal fouls, and gained a measure of revenge on his old team by helping the Nets beat the Sixers in the first round of the playoffs. But during the following season, Dawkins began to become beset by injuries. He was limited to 34 games in 1984-85, and 51 games the following year, during which he suffered a back injury that all but ended his career. Dawkins played just 26 games between 1986-87 and 1988-89, bouncing from the Nets to the Utah Jazz and finally the Detroit Pistons before being forced to retire after the 1988-89 season. Dawkins would play several seasons in Italy for Torino, Olimpia Milano and Telemarket Forli, and attended training camps with the Denver Nuggets in 1994 and the Celtics in 1995 before finally calling it quits. He had scored 8,733 points (12 PPG) and grabbed 4,432 rebounds (6.1 RPG), but it was more potential than substance for the man from "Lovetron".
Season-by-Season Statistical Review:
1975-76: 37 GP, 2.4 PPG, 1.3 RPG, 0.1 APG, 50.0 FG%, 33.3 FT%
1976-77: 59 GP, 5.3 PPG, 3.9 RPG, 0.4 APG, 62.8 FG%, 50.6 FT%
1977-78: 70 GP, 11.7 PPG, 7.9 RPG, 1.2 APG, 57.5 FG%, 70.9 FT%
1978-79: 78 GP, 13.1 PPG, 8.1 RPG, 1.6 APG, 51.7 FG%, 67.2 FT%
1979-80: 80 GP, 14.7 PPG, 8.7 RPG, 1.9 APG, 52.2 FG%, 65.3 FT%
1980-81: 76 GP, 14.0 PPG, 7.2 RPG, 1.4 APG, 60.7 FG%, 72.0 FT%
1981-82: 48 GP, 36 GS, 11.0 PPG, 6.4 RPG, 1.1 APG, 56.4 FG%, 69.5 FT%
1982-83: 81 GP, 81 GS, 12.0 PPG, 5.2 RPG, 1.4 APG, 59.9 FG%, 64.6 FT%
1983-84: 81 GP, 80 GS, 16.8 PPG, 6.7 RPG, 1.5 APG, 59.3 FG%, 73.5 FT%
1984-85: 39 GP, 30 GS, 13.5 PPG, 4.6 RPG, 1.2 APG, 56.6 FG%, 71.1 FT%
1985-86: 51 GP, 3 GS, 15.3 PPG, 4.9 RPG, 1.5 APG, 64.4 FG%, 70.7 FT%
1986-87: 6 GP, 2 GS, 9.5 PPG, 3.2 RPG, 0.3 APG, 62.5 FG%, 70.8 FT%
1987-88: 6 GP, 0 GS, 1.7 PPG, 0.8 RPG, 0.3 APG, 22.2 FG%, 40.0 FT%
1988-89: 14 GP, 0 GS, 1.9 PPG, 0.5 RPG, 0.1 APG, 47.4 FG%, 50.0 FT%
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